Every woman either married or single has one friend that they all envy. The one friend that no matter where they go, men seem to flock to her. She isn’t the supermodel that turns heads when she enters the room, but men line up to talk to her, buy her drinks, and get her number all with relatively little ‘work’ on her end. She is the girl who rarely has a Saturday night free, but when she does she is certainly not sitting in a tub of ice cream willing her phone to ring. She is the envied one because no matter what her dating status is, she always seems centered, confident, happy, and fulfilled. What is her secret?
The secret to this woman’s core happiness is not chance or destiny, it is strategy. The woman that appears to have it all controls her own providence. And with a little bit of effort, and a lot of creative’re’- thinking, every woman can instill this in her love life as well. Once you have mastered this rethinking, you will be able to attract, captivate, and keep (or not if you so choose) any man of your liking. You will be able to take responsibility for your own happiness instead of waiting for some man to put the smile on your face. You will be the one all of your girlfriends envy. What IS this approach? Simple, date like a man.
The bottom line is there is a very distinct role that nature plays in differentiating how men and women think and communicate. When we apply this differentiation to the world of dating, men and women think almost like polar opposites, and it is simple biology that causes this difference of approaches to the dating scene. Knowing and understanding these differences, can give you a tremendous advantage in your dating life.
No free dating app can help you in such matters and you will need to be your own boss as it is all a matter of instinct. The best way to make your crush like you is to be yourself completely and not what he/she wants you to be as that will make you look phony and therefore the other person will drift away from you as he’ll think that you’re fake.
For men, dating is a simple numbers game and it all comes down to natural selection or what is more commonly known as ‘survival of the fittest’. What this means is that men need to put their genetic material to its highest biological advantage to ensure its survival. How they do this is by maximizing its potential by spreading it around in as many places as possible. Translated into dating terms, men need to date as many women as they conceive possible in order to ensure the survival of their fittest DNA. They are more concerned with the end, than the means so to speak. Every man is different, what may mean a lot to some is only a few to others.
Women on the other hand, are the nurturers and mothers of society. Their fittest survival depends on the rearing and upbringing of their offspring. With this comes a time limited offer to conceive and bear children. Because this the numbers women are playing with are a little bit lower. Putting this in dating terms, women will date fewer men than men will women, as women are gearing for a more emotionally connected relationship to establish a suitable offspring potential sooner than a man will. This will ensure a longer timeline for the women to be able to have offspring, and ensure, her fittest survive in the timeline she is given.
So now that we know the hows and the why’s of the dating lives of men, how do we rewire ourselves to behave accordingly? Simply put, we need to focus less on finding that one perfect man, and focus more on playing the numbers game the same way a man does. Back in the ’50s’s it was called ‘playing the field’ and there is nothing wrong with doing that in the 21st century. This is not to say we need to be dating queens forever. Think about it. The more numbers you play in the lottery, the more chances you have to win. The same logic applies to dating. The more you do so, the greater your chances are of finding Mr. Right. What happens from this point is up to you.
Because we are instinctively inclined to invest ourselves emotionally, even as early as the first date, this task will seem daunting and it will take practice. The key here is to rethink your dating life entirely. Immediately stop overanalyzing – his email said ‘see you later’…what do you think that means??? Immediately stop worrying about potential – is he The One??? Immediately stop putting too much pressure on every date – should we kiss or no??? Come on ladies, admit it, we are ALL guilty of one or all of these things at any one point in our dating careers.
The time is now to put away these old fashioned emotionally invested thought processes. Banish the hopes forever – hoping that he’ll ask for your number, hoping he’ll call, hoping the relationship is ‘going somewhere’, hoping he’ll commit. Stop hoping and start taking charge of what happens to you. Once you do that, you will notice you will start having fun on your dates because you won’t be worrying so much about the ‘what ifs’. And, if you are having fun on your dates, you are going to want more OF them. It is all about control and taking charge – control your relationships and take charge of your happiness. Don’t wait for a man to do it for you, or you will be waiting for forever, and life is already passing you by. It will take some time and some practice, but it will not be long before YOU are the ones your friends envy.
